What I’ve Been Up To…
So I’m not really sure if anyone is reading or checking this blog on a regular basis, but if you are, you may have noticed that I’ve been MIA for the last couple of weeks. Some of this is because of Thanksgiving and spending time with family. But mostly it’s because I haven’t mentally been up to posting anything new. I’m hoping this will change very soon.
Without getting into it too much, I’ll just saying that I have been struggling a lot lately with anxiety (which I’ve been having for years), and more recently, depression…which I honestly had no idea I had. I just knew I hadn’t been feeling like myself lately and wasn’t enjoying things in life the way I should have been. After an ER visit a couple of weeks ago where I was having a panic attack, I talked to my regular doctor yesterday. I’m going to be taking a couple of (expensive!) medications that I’m hoping will help me get slowly back to normal.
I actually have many people in my family on antidepressants, and for that reason I always thought I could handle things on my own–I was strong enough to not need to rely on medication. I’m still a little angry at myself for needing to be on it. But right now, if it can help me, I need to accept that fact and take it. I just want to be the best person I can for my husband and especially my son.
I think there are a lot of stay at home moms who silently suffer from anxiety and/or depression. It gets very repetitive doing the same things day after day after day, especially if you live in a small town like I do, where there’s nothing for you and your kids to do. I know I am hardly ever alone, but I am also fortunate because I only have one child. I think that moms with more kids may have it harder.
So, I’m sorry for not being myself the past couple of weeks and keeping up with the blog! Hopefully my medicine will start helping soon, and I will try to post more. It may be once a week, twice a week…but I will TRY. I know I usually keep it lighthearted on here, but I really feel better now that I’ve put this into writing! If you need help, or even think you might be in a little over your head, talk to your doctor. Medication may not be the answer for you, but often just talking about your feelings can be. As moms we have to be our best as all times 🙂