Mason: I’M LAYING HERE IN BED THINKING ABOUT YOU.
Hope: WHAT A COINCIDENCE. I WAS THINKING ABOUT U 2.
Mason: REALLY? WHAT ABOUT?
Hope: U TELL ME FIRST.
Mason: I WAS THINKING HOW MUCH I MISS YOU.
Hope: U MISS ME? OR LITTLE MASON MISSES ME?
Mason: WHO THE HELL IS LITTLE MASON?
Hope: UR PENIS…?
Mason: NO. JUST NO. THAT IS NOT HIS NAME.
Hope: SO IT IS A BOY?
Mason: WELL OBVIOUSLY.
Hope: FINE. THEN WHAT’S HIS NAME?
Mason: IDK. I’VE NEVER GIVEN HIM ONE. YOU’RE THE NICKNAME QUEEN. WHAT SHOULD WE CALL HIM?
Hope: LITTLE MASON.
Mason: YOU CAN’T CALL HIM LITTLE!
Hope: WHY?
Mason: BECAUSE IT’S INACUURATE.
Hope: OH. SO IT’S AN EGO THING?
Mason: NO. IT’S REALITY.
Hope: I SEE.
Mason: SO WE’RE IN AGREEMENT?
Hope: ABOUT UR PENIS SIZE? ABSOLUTELY.
Mason: OKAY. GOOD. SO WHAT SHOULD HIS NAME BE?
Hope: IT’S 2 MUCH PRESSURE.
Mason: THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S SO BIG.
Hope: OH, DEAR BUDDHA.
Mason: IS THAT HIS NAME? I’M NOT SURE I LIKE THAT.
Hope: UR RIDICULOUS.
Mason: YOU’RE THE ONE THAT BROUGHT UP THE WHOLE NAME ISSUE.
Hope: OK. FINE. HOW ABOUT BIG MASON.
Mason: NO. I’M BIG MASON.
Hope: SO WOULDN’T THAT MAKE UR PENIS LITTLE MASON?
Mason: I THOUGHT WE ESTABLISHED HE ISN’T LITTLE?
Hope: ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT…BEANSTALK?
Mason: ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO PISS ME OFF?
Hope: NO. UR THINKING ABOUT IT WRONG. I MEAN LIKE, MASON AND THE GIANT BEANSTALK.
Mason: AH. I SEE. I KIND OF LIKE IT.
Hope: FINALLY.
Mason: SO YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHAT YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT ME.
Hope: CLIMBING YOUR BEANSTALK.
Mason: I’M COMING OVER.